Not Supposed to Happen

Not Supposed to Happen
© 2012 Irene & Reed
Struggle, Strength, Reclamation
Lyrics by Leslie Benson, 2011

I’m ready to walk
after the crawl
into the singular moment
after the fall. …

I forgot who I was
supposed to be.
Did a 180º internally.

I’m running out of
patience, and
I’m stepping out of
silence.

I can’t go back to
where I’ve been,
’cause this was not
supposed to happen.

I learned a lot the
second round.
I built it up,
you knocked it down.

(Now) I can’t go back to
where I’ve been,
’cause this was not
supposed to happen!

Not supposed to happen.
But here I am again.
Here I am again!

I’m ready to walk
a higher path
along a road of rubble in
the aftermath. Don’t try to
follow me there;
I’m on my own, returning
to the place I
call home.

I’m running out of
patience, (and)
I’m stepping out of
silence.

I can’t go back to
where I’ve been,
’cause this was not
supposed to happen.

But here I am again.

About the Song

Some events in this world are unforgivable—whether premeditated, caused by recklessness, fulfilled by selfish behavior, or enacted out of fear. We don’t plan for bad things to happen. Words said in anger; acts of violence against a loved one; accidents that cause lifelong pain; or a dear friend who commits suicide … these things should never happen to us. When they do, we feel powerless. Some of us may feel guilty. Some of us may grieve. But we cannot let the hardships of life stop us from living.

How could singer-songwriter Leslie I. Benson have known that when she wrote “Not Supposed to Happen” on 1-13-11, that ten months later, with those very numbers reversed, her high school sweetheart would tragically choose to end his life?

“Hold your loved ones close, and take the symptom of depression very seriously,” Benson says.

Don’t take a chance with someone’s life. If you fear that someone you care about may have suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 to reach a free and confidential network of crisis care centers across the US. Don’t let the ones you love suffer in silence.

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